April 15th, 2005

Oh, get over it, girl

Today I am making many bindy book things, which is kind of fun until you funk it up and then have to print out loads more pages and do it all over again. I’m not sure which I hate less – bindy book things or pdfs. (eta: this afternoon, the answer is definitely that I hate bindy things less)

Also, I am doing the post because M was off sick yesterday and I’m being helpful so she can catch up. I hate doing the post.

Clearly my enthusiasm levels have gone away somewhere. Somewhere where the words ‘energy’ and ‘monitoring’ are never said together. Hah, but have had four choco-leibnitz and a can of caffeine-free coke, so they’re kind of back and I am giggly.

There are times at work where I just want to go up to people and go ‘Do you like making girls cry? Is that it?’ because that’s all I want to do. I have so much to do, and whenever I finish that I have more to do, and I’m sorry if this makes me sound like a crap human being, but I really do not have the capacity to organize even a month ahead (and even if I did, I still have too much to do). I’m going to make myself a chart with all dates and coloured stickers on it, because hopefully shiny things will distract me from OMG ORGANISATION! (ha, and you think I’m joking…) Maybe really really important things will be illustrated with a pic of Vincent Cassel to cheer me up.

Ugh, I just want to think about Spooks and Hustle all the time, and I want to be able to finish fic, and I really want to be able to finish some original fic for once, and I am going to stop right now before this whole entry turns into a whinge. And I am really, really going to try and finish stuff this weekend.

I’m not sure what’s up today, I think I might just be feeling frustrated for no good reason. We’ve got this big meeting on Monday about how we’re all going to make the company better (er, less work would be nice) and I don’t want to be involved, but I’m forcing myself to be because…that’s what I do.

You know the biggest problem with being so big on the idea of personal responsibility? You have to apply it to yourself. Sometimes, I’d like to be someone else for a day, just to be able to do things *without* thinking about the consequences.

Right, I can funking stop this now and get over it. It’s Friday afternoon, I’m going to have a nice quiet weekend of reading and writing, and I’m going to bloody recap something. Probably Spooks, maybe old Hustle.

Hm, just noticed something in my Hustle recap. For some reason in place of ‘insures’ I’ve put ‘encourages’. o_O