FUCKING HELL. FUCKING HELL FUCKING BASTARDS I REALLY WANT TO FUCKING WRING SOMEONE'S NECK.
So this morning, a client phones up, and oh joy, gets me on the phone to ask for a contract. I say fine, I don't have it but I'll request it, I'll probably have it on Monday. Oh no, must have it today. Ok, fine, I'll see what I can do.
1. Get contract, send off. There is a problem where the end date actually says ten years in the future, not 1. Ok, sorry, will get amended.
2. send them the second version, all is yay.
3. Get email back detailing 6 problems with the contractm starting with lack of supplier info, including no start/end dates, and ending with billing address.
4. send letter back pointing out that in fact, only one of these is valid, and hope that the subtext of READ THINGS PROPERLY YOU IDIOTS, I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT is coming through looud and clear.
5. Requst billing address change, but warn them that it may not hppen today, as hello, it's 4pm.
6. get call from client informing me they really need it today and they don't want to lose this because of appearing 'inefficient'. Wionder how this is my problem when I've been fucking bending over backwards all fucking day and have been more efficient than they could hope had anyone else in the company taken this (because contracts are my thing so no-one else would really know what to do). Wonder how to politely inform someoen to fuck off before I rip their arms off and use them to beat them over the head.
7. Grovel to nice person at suppliers to get this changed AGAIN and wonder if sending over chocolate is an acceptable thank you for a bloke.
8. Try not to kill anyone or have a go at innocent bystanders.
AND NOW THE WOMAN HAS JUST ASKED ME IF THERE ARE THIRTY DAYS IN SEPTEMBER.